Dating case studies- part 1
It is high time we discussed the dating situation in Sweden. I have to declare bankruptcy in my dating bank after almost two years in this country. Something is wrong. Either with me or with the men. The good are always "taken" as usual. So, we are stuck with desperate, overused or annoying. Just like me! :) And given that fact, I thought, ok, people could be easier to communicate and show their intentions. But I did not take into account the psychological problems they carry, and believe me, they are magnified compared to those that we carry in Greece. And I am the one talking about psychological problems. Imagine the condition of the men that I met...
Anyway, so people here cannot be sentimental at any level. I am talking about those that I have met, cause I don't want to be misunderstood. This is just a case study, specific objects that have been observed or "workshopped" and I drew some assumptions. Personal assumptions. And my results cannot be generalised officially. So don't attack the writer, just try to understand my torture while searching for a mate.
First of all, if they don't have animals, I strongly suggest they get a pet, it helps get over all the psychological problems and it gives the owner a reason to survive and a commitment to life, cause otherwise, I am not sure what to expect, they are super suicidal. In my opinion...
BUT!! If they do have animals, they sleep at the same bed with them, which is not acceptable, especially if they choose to hug them instead of me.
Anyway, exhibit one. Let's call him Tomato!
Tomato wants to find a girl for a lifetime. He has a specific model of girl that fits him in his head. He is handsome, he has a dog that is the sweetest girl in the world and the blood of his life as he calls her. He hugs her constantly because he does not want the dog to feel abandon the moment a new girl enters his life. He was in the military, special forces, he quit and became a programmer. He finds blogs stupid, he does not watch Eurovision, he only listens to classical music, he loves video games and nerdy stuff, he has few friends but he does not care about them. He has been depressed and has trust issues. He teases me through messages but when it comes to the real thing, he does not want to rush. He does not want to get physical, because he does not want to base a relationship on sex hormones. However, he invites you to stay over after a few meetings, he does not give you his phone number, he wants you with him all day, he is willing to meet your friends, he likes you, but he wants to date more in order to achieve the best compatibility level ever! He is super logical and he understands arguments and patterns, nothing less, nothing more. Whatever he does, he does it for himself and never for other people. He cancels everything he does not like and he moves to the next possible common thing. Without stopping and thinking for a moment. He will die alone.
Exhibit two. Let's call him Andromeda.
Andromeda is not a Swedish person, but he lives in Sweden for the last 8 years. He is British. He does not add you on Facebook, even if you ask for more than one time. The reason is because he is a father. Of a daughter that I cut my head is not his. But anyway, every person stupid enough to believe a woman he has slept with as an innkeeper once or twice and then stays with her to raise a child that he never wanted or loved from the beginning is not worth getting to know... But I thought it would be intriguing. A lot of issues. A lot of intense moments. The psychologist inside me gets turned on by problematic figures like that. So, he is unemployed, with no life purpose, with a daughter that just learned to like and love, and with a lot of drinking buddies. He talks a lot. He says too much. He promises the sky and the starts and you feel from the very first moment that he lies and that he exaggerates. However, you let it happen. He gets promising about sex, but he cannot function in any case... he gets too frustrated. He gets mad with himself and you. He abandons you in the middle of nowhere when he gets angry. And he just does not get any signal that you send, or translate them wrongly. So, lost cause from the start. He just disappeared, luckily.
Exhibit three. Let's call him Polar.
Polar is a very unique situation. He seems mature, he seems experienced, he seems interested. And there is a special condition we have to acknowledge here. He is the brother of my classmate, a classmate that I respect and enjoy his company. So, there is a serious consideration before going out with Polar. In my brain at least. I do not want to humiliate myself to people that I respect and like. So, we chat a lot, we are eager to meet in person. He has a dirty past, according to his saying, not mine. Cause I have the exact same dirty past, but I do not find it dirty. Anyway, we go out, we spend two wonderful hours drinking coffee, we walk around, I have to pretend to find interesting all the unstructured thoughts he has, all the topics that he finds interesting, all the fancy words he needs to use, because vocabulary is very important and apparently my English is not that good. And then, we hug. And we go away separately. And then I text him, the following day. And he reads my message. But he does not reply. After three days that the conversations were on fire, and the chatting did not stop, not even during lunch time. :) I understand fast that he does not like me. Well, yes, I am photogenic and I am not good looking in person. That is not news. However, before abandoning the effort once and for all, I text again. He reads the message again, but never answers. Ok, he made it clear. He is rude, but I assume that he does not want to meet me again. Fair enough. Are we done yet? NOOOO!!! :) Because two months later, he apologises for his behaviour and he does not want forgiveness, but he wants whatever I can dish out. He likes me, he shows sexual interest and he even gets talkative again. He chats a lot. I try not to be rude, cause I try not to become what I hate, plus I am super curious to find out what went wrong the first time. And of course, I get aggressive, just because I can. And we meet, I am instantly turned off by things that I cannot even describe. And he gets talkative, but bored as well. He gives me a stupid excuse about his behaviour. I don't deeply care, but whatever. And then we make out. And then I leave him. And then he stops being responsive and talkative again, because he does not have the energy or the willingness to look at his phone. He improved from the first time since he does not read the messages anymore,he just ignores my messages while he is online. And I have made my diagnosis about his situation. I am so sure about his condition. But I do not give advice for free. Not anymore.
Can you handle more exhibits?
There are so many more. I have so much fun writing the cases down....
Anyway, so people here cannot be sentimental at any level. I am talking about those that I have met, cause I don't want to be misunderstood. This is just a case study, specific objects that have been observed or "workshopped" and I drew some assumptions. Personal assumptions. And my results cannot be generalised officially. So don't attack the writer, just try to understand my torture while searching for a mate.
First of all, if they don't have animals, I strongly suggest they get a pet, it helps get over all the psychological problems and it gives the owner a reason to survive and a commitment to life, cause otherwise, I am not sure what to expect, they are super suicidal. In my opinion...
BUT!! If they do have animals, they sleep at the same bed with them, which is not acceptable, especially if they choose to hug them instead of me.
Anyway, exhibit one. Let's call him Tomato!
Tomato wants to find a girl for a lifetime. He has a specific model of girl that fits him in his head. He is handsome, he has a dog that is the sweetest girl in the world and the blood of his life as he calls her. He hugs her constantly because he does not want the dog to feel abandon the moment a new girl enters his life. He was in the military, special forces, he quit and became a programmer. He finds blogs stupid, he does not watch Eurovision, he only listens to classical music, he loves video games and nerdy stuff, he has few friends but he does not care about them. He has been depressed and has trust issues. He teases me through messages but when it comes to the real thing, he does not want to rush. He does not want to get physical, because he does not want to base a relationship on sex hormones. However, he invites you to stay over after a few meetings, he does not give you his phone number, he wants you with him all day, he is willing to meet your friends, he likes you, but he wants to date more in order to achieve the best compatibility level ever! He is super logical and he understands arguments and patterns, nothing less, nothing more. Whatever he does, he does it for himself and never for other people. He cancels everything he does not like and he moves to the next possible common thing. Without stopping and thinking for a moment. He will die alone.
Exhibit two. Let's call him Andromeda.
Andromeda is not a Swedish person, but he lives in Sweden for the last 8 years. He is British. He does not add you on Facebook, even if you ask for more than one time. The reason is because he is a father. Of a daughter that I cut my head is not his. But anyway, every person stupid enough to believe a woman he has slept with as an innkeeper once or twice and then stays with her to raise a child that he never wanted or loved from the beginning is not worth getting to know... But I thought it would be intriguing. A lot of issues. A lot of intense moments. The psychologist inside me gets turned on by problematic figures like that. So, he is unemployed, with no life purpose, with a daughter that just learned to like and love, and with a lot of drinking buddies. He talks a lot. He says too much. He promises the sky and the starts and you feel from the very first moment that he lies and that he exaggerates. However, you let it happen. He gets promising about sex, but he cannot function in any case... he gets too frustrated. He gets mad with himself and you. He abandons you in the middle of nowhere when he gets angry. And he just does not get any signal that you send, or translate them wrongly. So, lost cause from the start. He just disappeared, luckily.
Exhibit three. Let's call him Polar.
Polar is a very unique situation. He seems mature, he seems experienced, he seems interested. And there is a special condition we have to acknowledge here. He is the brother of my classmate, a classmate that I respect and enjoy his company. So, there is a serious consideration before going out with Polar. In my brain at least. I do not want to humiliate myself to people that I respect and like. So, we chat a lot, we are eager to meet in person. He has a dirty past, according to his saying, not mine. Cause I have the exact same dirty past, but I do not find it dirty. Anyway, we go out, we spend two wonderful hours drinking coffee, we walk around, I have to pretend to find interesting all the unstructured thoughts he has, all the topics that he finds interesting, all the fancy words he needs to use, because vocabulary is very important and apparently my English is not that good. And then, we hug. And we go away separately. And then I text him, the following day. And he reads my message. But he does not reply. After three days that the conversations were on fire, and the chatting did not stop, not even during lunch time. :) I understand fast that he does not like me. Well, yes, I am photogenic and I am not good looking in person. That is not news. However, before abandoning the effort once and for all, I text again. He reads the message again, but never answers. Ok, he made it clear. He is rude, but I assume that he does not want to meet me again. Fair enough. Are we done yet? NOOOO!!! :) Because two months later, he apologises for his behaviour and he does not want forgiveness, but he wants whatever I can dish out. He likes me, he shows sexual interest and he even gets talkative again. He chats a lot. I try not to be rude, cause I try not to become what I hate, plus I am super curious to find out what went wrong the first time. And of course, I get aggressive, just because I can. And we meet, I am instantly turned off by things that I cannot even describe. And he gets talkative, but bored as well. He gives me a stupid excuse about his behaviour. I don't deeply care, but whatever. And then we make out. And then I leave him. And then he stops being responsive and talkative again, because he does not have the energy or the willingness to look at his phone. He improved from the first time since he does not read the messages anymore,he just ignores my messages while he is online. And I have made my diagnosis about his situation. I am so sure about his condition. But I do not give advice for free. Not anymore.
Can you handle more exhibits?
There are so many more. I have so much fun writing the cases down....
To be continued...
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